Sporting Fools
Sporting Fools
Sporting Fools

Sporting Fools

The frequent and occasional humorous musings behind two of the World's greatest underappreciated sports minds.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

NBA Draft Night!

*will be updated*

The NBA Draft is one of the 10 best sports nights of the year. Hell I love the draft more than I love the product sometimes. And since I wasn't invited to the Orlando Magic's draft party this year (which makes sense...since I'm out of the daily newspaper business and all), I will have to make my snide comments straight from my Pinellas palace when the show kicks off at 7 p.m.

Sadly the Mets and Sox will also be playing at the same time for Petey's homecoming so I will be stuck flipping back and forth. But otherwise I'm pysched about this draft!

First trade. Celtics give up the number 7 pick for Sebastian Telfair, great move. Only Portland would rush to have two of the first seven picks in a draft with no superstars. Interesting. They should, however, be able to get two players that they can build something (anything) around.

As for Telfair, he averaged 12 ppg and shot around 45% before getting hurt. The Celtics will give him the 35-40 minutes a night he leads and I expect that scoring average to climb to the 16-17 ppg range.

Pre-Game: Two things to know about ESPN's coverage. a) Jay Bilas hates high schoolers and foreigners, b) Jay Bilas has no clue of what makes a good NBA players.

Right away Bilas says he's not "drinking the kool-aid" on Andrea Bargnani, the possible first pick of the Toronto Raptors. No surprise there since Bargnani is Italian and didn't go to Duke. I'll assume that Dukie V will badmouth him as well.

Ok, ok, ok, ok we get it Bargnani could be the next Tskitishvili (pronounced Skits-a-villi by Vitale). However ol Andrea looks like a slight breeze could knock him into another city.

Charlotte appears to be hot on Morrison, which means Jordan will have a guy he can whip in post-practice shootaround contests.

Second part of Portland's trade. They take Raef LaFrentz for Theo Ratliff. Wow this officially became one of the best trades in Celtic history.

Stu Interview: Adam Morrison shows the charisma that has made him everyone's choice to invite to their next bar mitzvah.

First Pick: David Stern gives the greeting and says "This is a very rowdy crowd" which is Stern-speak for "Embarass me and I will have all of you killed. DEAD!"

Raptors choose Bargnani, not a shock. Bilas is already hating on him ("Not a great athlete." "Doesn't rebound." "Doesn't post up"). Stephen A. disagrees but says that a weight room trip wouldn't kill him.

My first thoughts...he looks like a 7'1 Screech.

Andy Katz reports that the Bulls will select LaMarcus Aldridge for the Blazers and the Blazers will select Ty Thomas. The Bulls also receiver a player to be named Viktor.

Morrison Lovefest: Immediately as the Bobcats pick Morrison the love-in begins Jay Bilas even says "he can't play defense but so what"...Huh? All I have to say about Morrison is that he takes insulin shots DURING the game. That's concerning.

But yeah, he's a great shooter.

Rachel Nichols mentions "Sean May" as part of Charlotte's young nucleus, well that's news to Sean May.

Stephen A. on Portland: "They look like they don't know what they are doing."

Stu Interview #2: He asks Tyrus Thomas what advice did WNBA #1 pick Simone Augustus (also from LSU) give him about preparing for this night. Yeah, like she'd know. I think the WNBA draft was held at Starbucks this year.

Memphis Gets Gay: Andy Katz reports that Houston will choose Gay at #8 (they did) and trade him to Memphis for Shane Battier. Wow, Battier's value has only dropped two spots in five years? I'm not buying that one. Meanwhile I'm liking the potential of a Gasol/Gay frontcourt.

Slipperage: Meet Ronnie Brewer.

Magic Snag Redick: And his bad back. Understatement of the night by Dan Patrick: "Dick Vitale has taken in several Duke games this year."

No shock, Bilas loves him too, not as much of Vitale, not possible. Bilas also brings up the name of Trajan Langdon....interesting.

My thoughts...The Magic will regret not selecting Brewer. They already have a great shooter in Hedo Turkoglu, this isn't a pick of need.

Utah Stops the Bleeding: Takes Brewer at 14 thus giving Deron Williams someone to listen to "Three 6 Mafia" with in the locker room.

Portland is at it Again: Swaps picks with Minnesota, gives up Randy Foye and takes Brandon Roy. Portland just wants to hold the rights to every player in the first round before the night is over.

Stern Strikes Back: Calls Dan Patrick's comments "pithy" and wonders when he's going to say something nice about the picks. Patrick says he likes Commissioner Tagliabue more. Oooo. I don't know if you want to be trading barbs with Stern. He's not bad with the sharp tongue.

More Slippage: Connecticut's Marcus Williams...and the Knicks BETTER PICK HIM!

Huh: Who the FUCK is Renaldo Balkman?

I'm just waiting for: Someone to pick my man Alexander Johnson. Meanwhile Russ Granik looked legitimately touched by that ovation.

Thank you Indiana: A.J. goes at 45, about twenty spots lower than he needed to go but he'll be fine. Make that money A.J. !

Posted by TPrincess 5:34 PM ||

Monday, June 26, 2006

Cowardly Columnist

I wonder how a pussy like Jay Mariotti can survive in a tough-as-nails town like Chicago.

This latest piece is just embarassing to the rest of the journalists in the world who walk through unfriendly confines daily because the only thing worse than writing a column denouncing the home team is being too much of a chickenshit not to show up the next day.

Posted by TPrincess 4:11 PM ||