Sporting Fools
Sporting Fools
Sporting Fools

Sporting Fools

The frequent and occasional humorous musings behind two of the World's greatest underappreciated sports minds.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

We've Got a Guest for Sunday Brunch...

Ladies and Gentleman, please welcome Tiger Woods! He's been busy for 142 weeks but after a 71 on Friday, Woods will get to enjoy the weekend with his lovely wife because he missed the cut line. It's only the second time in his career that Woods has failed to play through the weekend.

Woods has had several close calls during this streak (15 to be exact). But none as close as not making it. But Tiger always takes things in stride.
"I couldn't quite find what I needed to make the right golf swing," said Woods, who shot a first-round 69. "I tried to bandage my way to the finish."

Well Tiger will have to cover those wounds with a hot blonde and a pile of money. I hope it helps.

Impossible Is Underestimated: Woods Is Out [NYT]
Tiger's Cut Streak At a Glance [Chicago Tribune]

Posted by TPrincess 1:19 AM ||
Looking for the Dope Man...

Nate Newton wants to be your dope man. When he couldn't complete on the field, the bloated former Cowboys lineman focused his attention to business. But not just any business. Nate was going to freewheel agriculture across the lower 48.
"I've always been competitive, I've always been in sports," he said. "I couldn't see myself not being the biggest dope man."

Somebody's watched New Jack City one too many times. I'll never forget the first time I read about Newton's little voyage. He was "found" with 213 pounds of weed, as if he was lost. As if Nate was missing and just randomly found with half his body weight in drugs.

Newton Reveals His Competitive Drive [Dallas Morning-News]
Newton Found With 213 lbs of Marijuana [AP]

Posted by TPrincess 1:07 AM ||

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

The MVP Debate Continues

Dan Le Batard brought in race. My co-worker wonders if Amare Stoudemire wasn't on the Suns would they even be a playoff team (My opinion is no).

Either way the debate on Nash continues. There are a few reasons why Nash isn't been fawned over as an MVP.

a) He doesn't have the offensive skills to take over a game.
b) He can't play defense
c) He not a necessary piece to a team's success (see Mavericks, Dallas)

What Nash does is pla the point guard position very well. Something that few people in the league can do (Jason Kidd, Iverson on some occasions) right now.

That being said it's hard for me to call someone the MVP when I know they aren't the best player on their own team.

The Steve Nash Edition [Cheap Seats]
Le Batard: Unprecedented Choice for MVP Begs Question [Miami Herald]
Brown: Nash?! The Real MVP Is Iverson [The Ledger]
Telander: Nash As MVP, Don't Totally Discount Race [Sun-Times]
Blackistone: Nash, Shaq Have Case for MVP [DMN]
Nash: Shaq Deserved MVP [AP]

Posted by TPrincess 10:38 PM ||
The Whizzinator...

Onterrio Smith, decent talent but not very bright:
Smith acknowledged to airport police that he was carrying dried urine, along
with a device called "The Original Whizzinator" and a bottle of pills labeled "Cleansing Formula." He told police the kit was "for making a clean urine test,"
according to the police report, and said he was taking the materials to his cousin.

Oh yeah, of course why would anyone think he was using it for himself. After two strikes in the NFL drug program he's committed to being clean.

But he really needs to work on his "cousin", that guy has a drug problem.

Onterrio Smith Caught With Kit to Foil Drug Test [Star-Tribune]
Whizzinator Home Page: Undectable! Foolproof! Re-Usable! [Link]

Posted by TPrincess 10:19 PM ||
Lowdown on LeBron

I think a lot has been made of LeBron James' decision to fire his agents, The Goodwin Brothers, and as usual most of it has been based on uneducated assumptions.

This isn't a Ricky Williams-Master P situation nor is it like the HBO show Entourage when the main character hires his unexperienced friend to run his career.

Two things about the crew that LeBron hangs out with:

a) They all went to/are in college.
b) They all have had some sort of management internships.

Why? Because LeBron's mother demanded that they do if they wanted to go into business with her son. This is definitely a new move for the NBA, most players want to avoid the business aspect of their career for as long as possible while James seems to want to embrace that side of the industry. Even entrepreneurs like Michael Jordan didn't really get into the business that his name was worth until later in his career.

Besides the Goodwins work was done. James has a rookie contract and will get the "max" deal after that and his $135 million dollars worth of endorsements are already active. Now he wants to direct where his off-the-court career goes.

The top link is a terrific Akron Beacon-Journal that profiles his new manager. I wish these kids a lot of luck and I wish I had that sort of motivation at 23.

Former Teammate Still at James' Side [Beacon-Journal]
James Cuts Ties With Agent Goodwin [Plain-Dealer]

Posted by TPrincess 10:01 PM ||

Monday, May 09, 2005

Hoodies Yes, Suits No...

The NFL marketing machine strikes again. 49ers coach Mike Nolan petitioned the No Fun League to allow him to wear a suit when coaching on the sidelines. Partly out of respect for his father Dick, who used to coach the Niners and wore a suit and partly because he feels like it's appropriate attire.

Well the NFL said no because a suit doesn't meet the league's rule on clothing. Basically the league has whored its image out to corporate designers and those designers only want members of the league to wear "official" clothing.

When I think about NFL coaches wearing suits I think about Vince Lombardi, Tom Landry, Hank Stram and the other greats from yesteryear. I'd hope that if "Mr. Integrity" Paul Tagliabue told Lombardi he couldn't wear a suit on the sidelines, Vince would quickly tell Tags exactly what it is and where he could stick it. If Bill Belichick is allowed to look like a hobo, Nolan should be allowed to look like a gentleman.

NFL Says Nolan Can't "Suit" Up [SF-Chronicle]

Posted by TPrincess 8:43 PM ||
Dead Ball Era 2K5

Unless your name is Brian Roberts you aren't hitting Home Runs in the current baseball season. Through the first month the long ball is down 8.8 percent from last year. Of course baseball is finally testing for some performance-enhancers and Barry Bonds hasn't played a game yet. But I'm sure that's just an odd coincedence.

Oh well back to the Seattle-Yankees game, which is coming on instead of the Astros-Marlins. This is confusing because I live in Florida and I'm out of the Marlins viewing zone so I don't understand. Oh well, nothing I enjoy more than a battle of 4th place teams.

Homers Down in First Five Weeks [AP]

Posted by TPrincess 7:06 PM ||
Monday Roundup, NBA Style

Been a long weekend. Tom Glavine is still garbage, but I'm talking NBA Playoffs

Miami wins Game 1 of the series that will only go five games if the Heat's starting five decides to take the night off. San Antonio dominates in a series that I expect will go six, but could go five if the injuries to Radmanovic and Allen are serious.

Mike D'Antoni wins coach of the year. I got no problems with that.

What's getting my goat is Tracy McGrady. He admitted to quitting last year in Orlando because...well because the team sucked (partly due to him quitting). However, he got a free pass, especially when you consider what Vince Carter got (and really, what was the difference?).

Well on Saturday, the Rockets are down by 24 with 10 minutes remaining and look who's sulking on the bench. Tracy McGrady. Now 24 points down with 10 minutes remaining is a steep hill, but it's not impossible and considering it's an elimination game, I know I'd want to go down swinging. But not ol T-Mac, he was perfectly content to sit there and look disappointed. Meanwhile Yao actually stayed in the game despite the deficit reaching 30 and eventually 40. Of course Yao believes that fans puts a high price on honor and pride from its athletes.

More importantly you'd NEVER see Jordan quit in a Game 7 situation or ANY playoff situation no matter how bad it looked. Hell even Kobe will stay on the floor and hoist terrible shots in triple coverage. So I'm wondering if McGrady will get a free pass on this one too.

Hobbled and Humbles: Radmanovic, Allen Hurt in Rout [Seattle Times]
Duncan Takes His Licks vs. Sonics [Seattle Times]
Demand Is Hot For Anything Heat [Sun-Sentinel]
Bomb Scare at Arena James Traffic Before Heat Game [Miami Herald]
Wizards Hit a Stumbling Block [WP]
Report: D'Antoni Is Coach of the Year [Sportsline]

Posted by TPrincess 2:09 PM ||

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Somebody's Watching Me....

Anyone up there got some flaxseed oil to spare?

....but no one's admitting it. Major League Baseball? Nah they are denying it. Do I believe them? Hmm about as much as I believe the players really want to rid the game of steroids.

The rumors surrounding Bonds get stranger everyday. First he has a third surgery, then he gets fluid drained from his knee. His surgeon? Well he's got quite the rapsheet too. What do the Giants know? Whatever they read on Barry's website. Apparently they are starting to freak out too. And let's not forget the tax evasion charges. Those can be quite scary, you see what the government did to Willie Nelson. The only way he's going on the road again is with Greyhound.

Personally I miss the days when he went 0-for-1 with four walks and three runs scored. Oh yeah, I miss those 480-foot home runs too.

Baseball Denies Probe, but They are Watching [AP]
Bonds' Bad Knee Doesn't Hurt MLB [SF-Chronicle]

Posted by TPrincess 9:22 PM ||

Sorry T-Mac, Back to the drawing board.

Well Jeff Van Gundy can now look forward to David Stern making Saturday's events seem pleasant. Ok, there's nothing about a 40-point blowout that seems pleasant. Give the Rockets credit though, they didn't roll over and die for the first six games.

Next up for the Mavericks: The "MVP" Steve Nash and the Phoenix Suns. You think Mark Cuban isn't going to be sweating this one?

Rout to Phoenix, Mavs Blast Rockets [DMN]
40-Point Stunner Ends Dream [H-Chronicle]
Nash MVP? Joke's on Shaq [Sun-Sentinel]

Posted by TPrincess 11:00 AM ||
Blowout 2: Electric Boogaloo

Reggie! Reggie! Reggie!

Keep talking Antonie, I guess Reggie will have a few more games to his career. In a series that neither team wanted to win at home, Indiana served Boston a nice beating in front of the Chowd faithful Saturday night. Paul Pierce set a record for longest continous whine face by going the full 48.

Next stop: Detroit. Should be a good series considering these teams have no history with each other.

Pacers Rout Celtics in Game 7 [Indianapolis Star]
Will This Be the Bitter End for Walker? [Globe]
On to Detroit Now, Where Brawl Is Not Forgotten [NYT]

Posted by TPrincess 11:00 AM ||
Longshot Comes Through

Somebody's Rich

An underdog's dream. Two longshots fighting for supremacy and Nick Zito isn't involved. Giacomo (50-1) edged Closing Argument (72-1) in the 131st Kentucky Derby edging my pick and sentimental favorite Afleet Alex. Giacomo won for the honor of his papa, Holy Bull, who was the favorite in 1994 but lost to Go for Gin.

High Limit edged out Bandini for 20th place. Nick Zito was an impressive 0-for-5 and his top horse, Bellamy Road, gave owner George Steinbrenner more reason to fire Brian Cashman after a seventh-place finish.

An exacta of Giacomo and Closing Argument paid a whopping $9,814.80. Not bad for a $2 investment. Lucky enough to get all three? A cool $134,133.80.

Long-shot Giacomo Hits the Jackpot [Courier-Journal]
Prophetic Smith Finds Redemption [C-J]
Ain't Nick: Zito Goes 0-for-5 [Sun-Times]
No Return, No Exchange on Steinbrenner's Gift Horse [NYT]
Picking Giacomo Was Right on the Money [Journal-Register]
Suffolk Ticket Hits 1.7 Million Superfecta [Boston Herald]

Posted by TPrincess 10:59 AM ||
Old-Fashioned Brawl

Fight of the Year? Try Decade

Everyone complains about boxing. Oh it's so corrupt and it's all fixed. Well on Saturday something strange happened -- two guys in the prime of their careers actually fought. Diego Corrales and Jose Luis Castillo were the two best lightweights in the world and they decided it was time to see who was better.

After nine of the most brutal rounds you'll see, Castillo floored Corrales twice in the 10 when the man they called "Chico" made an improbable rally with his left eye swollen shut. And afterwards two fights hugged and said it was an honor to face each other. I almost cried.

In the undercard, Juan Manuel Marquez bored me to death with a victory over Victor Polo. Polo is a dead ringer for Freddie Mitchell. Marquez is angry he doesn't get marketed better but I'm not sure how to market a guy who's best moment was a draw.

Corrales in a Classic [NYP]
Corrales Rises From Canvas, KOs Castillo [Review-Journal]
Eagles Drop Mitchell for Making More Quips Than Catches [NYT]

Posted by TPrincess 10:58 AM ||