Sporting Fools
Sporting Fools
Sporting Fools

Sporting Fools

The frequent and occasional humorous musings behind two of the World's greatest underappreciated sports minds.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Super Bowl XL: The Opening Act

This my first post in preparation for XL. As you can tell I'm completely thrilled with this one so far. Both Pittsburgh and Seattle believe they are being disrespected, which is a first for the game. I mean surely SOMEONE has to be respected or maybe both teams are being respected and are just in denial about it.

The whole disrespect thing can only work in athletics. It doesn't even work in my industry at all. I couldn’t write a column about the editor or a fellow columnist disrespecting my skills. I couldn’t make myself into the underdog. Klosterman makes a similar point right here.

I have a weird feeling Cowher is going to fuck this up for the Steelers. Let's be honest, he’s a good coach in certain situations and this isn’t one of them. First of all his team is the favorite and given that the Detroit crowd will probably be around 75-25 in favor of the black and gold. It’s no secret that Cowher is 1-4 in AFC championship games at home and he desperately tried to lose the one he won. I have this feeling for two reasons:

1) He is completely bought into superstition by wearing white in the game which his team is the designated home team. It’s like he's trying to talk himself out of being the home coach. "I mean sure we have the majority of the fans and I could walk to Detroit from Pittsburgh, but hey we’re ROAD WARRIORS!".

2) He’s already trying to reduce media access to Ben Roethlisberger which will in turn make both player and coach uptight. My point on Cowher remains, he’s the sex panther cologne of coaches -- "he's good 50 percent of the time, every time".

And where is Seattle in this mess, oh yeah they are disrespected too because despite finishing 13-3 and winning the NFC Championship, people (where are these people by the way?) are saying they haven’t accomplished anything…and they are betting underdogs.

First point is correct, they haven’t accomplished anything, ok they won a conference title and got to the Super Bowl. Shoot the Chargers did that, with Stan Humphries at quarterback no less. Big fucking deal, win the game.

And don't try to act like football fans didn't want you to play in this game. Most fans, myself included, couldn’t give a shit about Seattle either way. Once the Jets were eliminated (back in week 1 for those of you who lost count), I just wanted to see good playoff football. The only team that America truly hated and didn’t want to see in the Super Bowl were the 3rd and 4th editions of the Buffalo Bills.

And even that might not get Seattle any respect, look at the '72 Dolphins. They didn't lose a game at all, won the AFC for the second consecutive year and would have shut out the Redskins if not for Garo Yepremian’s stupid ass. However, they also had the second easiest schedule in the league and a quarterback who couldn’t throw a pass for more than 20 yards. Ask 20 random fans who'd win a game between the '72 Dolphins and '89 49ers and 18 will say 49ers including myself.

It doesn't really matter if the game would be extremely close given the proper adjustments for weight and speed to make up the difference in time period, but the fact is people just liked the 49ers more. Joe Montana is a much cooler quarterback to like than Brian Griese. Ronnie Lott is a much cooler safety than Jake Scott. Fortunately no one's cooler than Yepremian.

If Seattle wins, they are the modern-day '72 Dolphins without the perfect record and shitty offense. They have a lot of the same components – strong running game, underrated defense, terrific offensive line, pathetic schedule.

So enjoy it while you can because if there is a god we'll have a nice sexy Super Bowl between the Colts and Cowboys. Until then both teams should quit whining.

And a side note to Jerome Bettis, no one believes you are 255 pounds, if you told me you were 355 pounds I wouldn’t believe that either. The same way I don't believe Kimo von Oeholffen's tackle of Carson Palmer was accidental. It was about as much of an accident as the Kennedy assassination.

So quit whining.

Posted by TPrincess 9:16 PM ||
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